Jean De Benedetto

MRS. JEAN DE BENEDETTO: INTELLECT, DRIVE, COMPASSION, WARMTH

 Jean De Benedetto, a near-lifelong resident of Passaic, N.J., passed away on September 28th, 2024; she was 93 years old. Mrs. De Benedetto was born Giovanna Giulia Santangelo in Passaic, N.J., on March 14th, 1931, to Vincenzo and Celeste Santangelo. She married her beloved husband Frank S. De Benedetto on June 27, 1959. They were married approximately 56 years at the time of Mr. De Benedetto's passing on Valentine's day, February 14th, 2015. Mr. & Mrs. De Benedetto lived in Lodi, N.J. for the first three years of their marriage, giving birth to their firstborn, Vincent, named after Mrs. De Benedetto's father, Vincenzo. Mrs. De Benedetto worked in the legal field through most of her life as an Executive Legal Secretary, having prepared for entry into the field through disciplined self-tutoring at home using the "Gregg" method of shorthand instruction. Her son Vincent, 64 years old, recalls that he remembers his Mom years ago doing this practice work around the house, the Gregg shorthand record playing on a small turntable, and steno book in hand.  

Purchase of Home

Through her early years Mrs. De Benedetto always professed a strong desire to own her own home, and on May 17, 1994, though later in life, she finally purchased a charming colonial home using her own earned funds. The house was filled with attractive dark wood interiors and trim and she loved it. She and husband Frank (and later son Vincent) moved into the home on June 02, 1994. At the time of her loss Mrs. De Benedetto had been in the home for over 30 years. The home also proved a wise financial investment, as its original purchase price has grown to an approximate value of far greater multiples. The home is also of great sentimental value to adult children Vincent and Johanna as both parents passed away in the home. 

Culinary Skill

 Widely considered a good cook, one of Mrs. De Benedetto's innovations was her tofu meatballs: oversized, soft, delicious, and dripping with sweet, savory tomato sauce. In the early years there was talk of marketing them to local supermarkets.

 Intellect & Intelligence

Her son Vincent is quoted as saying, with some exuberance, "Until I began caregiving my mother I honestly did not fully know her. I did not realize how strong her native intellect was. I always thought that my own intellect inherited from my father, and while my father Frank was very intelligent and perceptive, without question, I now realize that part of my intellect without question also came from my mother."

 Vincent also notably recalls her sitting down for hours every college semester completing his financial aid forms for Seton Hall.

 Compassion & Empathy 

Especially notable: though it might sound trite or self-serving to note, Mrs. De Benedetto was a genuinely compassionate and empathic person. For example, there was a local landscaper toward whom, though an explicit nuisance to the family, she urged compassion and mercy, as his mother had recently passed away. 

Mrs. De Benedetto was also solely responsible for helping a colleague at Sellinger & Sellinger procure a house to live in. Mrs. De Benedetto skillfully fashioned an innovative legal procedure that resulted in her colleague's ability to purchase the house, which she did.

 It's believed that it was this same colleague who remarked to Mrs. De Benedetto's son, Vincent, "I love your Mom!"

 Always a person of deliberate intention, in much later years she actually switched to a vegetarian diet, so as to spare food animals a life of cruel processing and then death. Son Vincent indicates that in honor of his mother, and because it represents a desirable moral aspiration, he is going to attempt to shift his own diet, to begin emulating the elevated manner of eating favored by his mother. He also indicates that explicitly in her honor he intends to continue and indeed recommit to his projects as a writer, philosopher, and musician, referring to his pursuit of change in the world explicitly in accord with that taught by the great teachers, notably Jesus, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Mohandas Gandhi, Erich Fromm, Leo Buscaglia, and others.

 Even in her final weeks, bedbound, her son recalls hearing his mom remark to a visitor, paraphrasing, "You don’t want to see people suffer."

 Her son, Vincent, asserts, in fact, that only since her passing, within the past few weeks, did he come to an insight and greater understanding of his parents as a couple. He now understands what they likely saw in each other, that they were essentially two gentle and loving people. His father Frank, for example, as a young man wrote a letter of protest concerning the sport of boxing, which he considered uncivilized.

 Work Life

 Mrs. De Benedetto shared with both her father, Vincenzo, and her son, Vincent, the characteristic of being a very hard and driven worker. In fact, she would tell a now-apocryphal story about how as a young girl she was so anxious to being working that she slightly changed her age on her working papers, so she could begin her work life, sooner.

 Mrs. De Benedetto worked in early years for the Passaic board of education, then entered the legal field, starting as Executive Legal Secretary for Gelman & Gelman in Clifton, N.J., followed by approximately 22 years at Sellinger & Sellinger in the same capacity. Jean's reputation for knowledge was so strong that it was understood in the office that any staff, including firm attorneys, seeking to learn a procedure would speak with Jean to learn it. And the story is known about the time that she was flying down the steps at Sellinger & Sellinger, going so fast that she took a spill. Happily, there was no permanent injury, just advice from co-workers: "Jean, slow down!"

 Jean's husband Frank's was a specialist in sales and repair of vacuum cleaners. In the early years of their marriage he worked for the Electrolux corporation, canvassing door-to-door, followed later by ownership of two local vacuum shops, the Vac Shack in Garfield, then by De Benedetto/Garfield Vacuum in the same town. For a time De Benedetto Vacuum went digital, in the form of a vacuum cleaner ecommerce site created and run by Mrs. De Benedetto's son, Vincent, with Mrs. De Benedetto and eventually daughter Johanna, as well, the former setting up and handling the payment processing system.  Her robust work life was in addition to being an extremely devoted mother to her son Vincent and her daughter Johanna.

 Family Life

 Mrs. De Benedetto took care of both of her parents, and her husband, when they eventually fell ill.

 Longtime friend of the family George Nicholas Pituras remarked, upon her passing:

"I'm very sorry for the loss of your dear mom. Our deepest and sincerest condolences. I will always remember her as a kind matriarch of your family. She cared deeply and was a hard working lady who made sure her family was taken care of. Much respect."

 Mrs. De Benedetto's nephew Anthony emailed: "Your mom always treated me like I was one of her own kids! I loved that about her. I remember when Neill, my brother and I would visit Vince, you mom would feed us while we waited for him. She was a great cook! She worked hard for her family and also took great care of our grandparents. God bless! love and hugs."

 Mrs. De Benedetto's daughter underscores that her Mom did value family immensely. She is one of 5 siblings, one recently having passed, James Santangelo of Vernon, N.J. the same week as Mrs. De Benedetto, and a younger sister, Juliet Wusthoff of Wayne, N.J. who also recently passed, in March 2024. Her older sister Juliet was very fond of her, frequently reaching out to her by telephone during their later years.

 Marital & Romantic Life

Mrs. De Benedetto, always a physical beauty, recounts the humorous story of the conception of her second child Johanna: when she and husband Frank experienced a transient period of inability to conceive, Mrs. De Benedetto went out and bought a black negligee such as worn by 1930's & '40s actress Jean Harlow. Mrs. De Benedetto concludes the story by underlining that this extracurricular step of her own device did the trick, as the conception of their second child Johanna promptly followed! The 2015 loss of her beloved husband Frank was a great blow to her. She remarked poignantly, afterward, "I can't think about you. There's no greater sorrow in my life."

 Services

Mrs. De Benedetto is survived by her beloved children: son Vincent Frank De Benedetto and daughter Johanna De Benedetto, and two remaining siblings, a brother Joseph from Allentown, P.A. and a younger brother, Silvio, from Parsippany, N.J. Visiting/Wake is Sunday, November 17th, 2-5 pm at Warner-Wozniak Funeral Service, 80 Midland Avenue, Wallington, N.J. A graveside service will be held at 1 pm, Monday, November 18th, at St. Mary’s Cemetery, 1 Outwater Lane, Saddle Brook, N.J. Persons attending the burial are to meet in their cars at the funeral home and please remain in their cars at 12pm on Monday, November 18, 2024.